Thursday, January 10, 2013

Scared

So my husband and I had a heart to heart last night. We bared ourselves in ways we haven't done in years. Only problem, he doesn't except me as I am now. What am I suppose to do? He is asking for things that are not going to be easy. Nothing is going to be easy. He wants me to change and idk if I can. Idk if I want to after all the years if putting up with what I had to put up with. I need to change for myself, for health benefits etc. it's hard to hear that his happiness is dependent on my weight. Not fair. At all. I noticed he put a password on his phone today.... He had never done that before. Makes me nervous and scared. He's asking for so much. Idk what to do. I want him to be happy. But I believe it's unfair that he makes it a condition on my weight. What had he done for me? I don't know the last time he gave me a compliment... Or just told me something nice. That's so sad. So sad. I want more from him. And I know that explains my depression. I'm not bring taken care of in the emotional way that I need. I'm starving for affection. And it breaks my heart that I only want it from him.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New year.

I just wish you could smile. I just wish you would laugh. This is for you my love....

Not everything is easy
Not everything is right
Not everything will work
Not everything is bright

It takes a little work
It takes a little love
It takes a bit of trust
It takes the two of us

Not everyone will smile
Not everyone will cry
Not everyone can make the mile
Not everyone can survive

It takes a little work
It takes a little love
It takes a bit of trust
It takes the two of us